Where did the time go?

I've been so busy I didn't even realize November is gone and December is more then halfway over! Wow! I can't believe what work does to you! It's been crazy how fast the days go by. Work has been pretty good. I had the worst call I've ever had yesterday. It was about 40 mins long and during the call my boss came over and gave me the thumbs up sign telling me I'm handling it well. I've never gotten so angry over a phone call before. I was able to take a little personal time so I could calm down when it was over. I could feel my heart racing and the blood pumping so fast! I ended up calling Jason and just talking to him about the kids so I could calm down. It worked. It's just funny how life works sometimes. Earlier that day I had one of my co workers ask me a personal question. He asked me if I was truly happy. It caught me off guard. I knew the answer right away but didn't know my co worker enough to know how much I wanted to say. We've had discussions before about his faith (the guy had faith tattooed to his neck and three Japanese symbols on his arm meaning faith, hope, pray) so I knew he was already spiritual. I decided to go forward with it. I looked him in the eye and told him. "Honestly, yes I am. Because I know my Heavenly Father loves me for who I am and looks past my faults and loves me anyway. He forgave me for the things I have done in the past. He is constantly showering me with beautiful blessings. He is the reason why I am the person I am today and I couldn't be more thankful for His love." I think I caught him off guard because all he said was "Wow!" :) He then said "Your lucky. I ask that to people often and I rarely get a yes." I them asked him if he was happy and he said "For the most part, yes I am. But I feel like there's something more for me to do. I feel like there's something..." "Missing?" I said. "Yes!" I knew exactly what he was talking about. I know what he is missing. And he's right, I am very lucky to have my faith and know who I am and know that I am loved. I love my Heavenly Father so much for bringing me to this beautiful place and giving me so many blessings. I'm so thankful for the life I have. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. 

Love Always & Forever,

Nini V. 

I cried.

Yesterday at church we had what we call fast and testimony meeting. It's when we fast for two meals that day and then we have the opportunity to bear our testimony in front of the congregation. We have it once a month. I usually try to stop myself from going up there every time. Yesterday, I couldn't. I had listened to others bear their testimony and I was crying before I even went up there. It was a great feeling knowing that my Heavenly Father has not only helped me with my trials but is helping others too. I was so thankful for the life my Heavenly Father has given me that I had to share. Even with all these trials we've come to these past months I am so thankful for the experiences that will only make me stronger. I went up to the pulpit and started to talk about everything going on. And I lost it. I cried. And I cried hard. I don't normally cry that hard when I get in front of people. I couldn't help it. I tried to hold back the tears as best I could. But I had to step away from the mic just so I could sob. But it was good tears. It was tears of thankfulness. Because I know that my Heavenly Father is by my side holding my hand through all of it. I am thankful for the love He shows me. He has given me my family to love. I am thankful for my life and my family and friends that I have. I love my life. 

Love Always and Forever, 

Nini V. 

What a day!!! :)

Saturday was such a great day! We first started off with a special Zumba class only instructors could take. If was to better ourselves as an instructor. We learned a lot of techniques that would help us. If was fun and engaging. I learned a lot. And I had the biggest compliment ever! For those of you that know my family, Jamie is my oldest sister and has always been a great role model for me. Well, she's the reason my whole family is into Zumba. She became an instructor and taught my mom, dad, youngest brother and my other sister. Well, when mom and dad moved back to Yakima it was fun to go to Zumba classes together. Nani (my other sister) had moved back also. My mom and I went to one of Jamie's friends studio up in the Seattle area. On the way back home I told mom we should open up our own studio! We all have dance in our background. Mom, Nani and I could all be instructors. Then we wanted to add our brothers wife in too, Becky. There were no Zumba only studios in town. You had to go to a gym and pay gym fees if you wanted to go. Blah! So, here were the four of us, ready to start a Zumba studio! It has now been 3 yrs since we opened. And we love it! However, it definitely came with ups and downs. I backed away from the business perspective and became just an instructor. Nani has since moved to North Dakota. So it is now mom and Becky. But now Becky is pretty much running it due to moms cancer. Since I got a full time job I'm not able to help as much as I'd like. 

Anyway, back to my story. I received the biggest compliment ever! My sister Jamie had watched me up on stage and observed me as an instructor. She said I am a good instructor and I do a really good job up there! Which made me feel really good. A few weeks ago she came up while mom and I were teaching. She pointed out that moms knees were hurting because she was leaning to far forward. I then asked her if she had any constructive criticism for me. She said she had to think about it. Then she told me this in class and I just beamed. I was so happy that Jamie thinks I'm a good instructor. 

So, if you can't tell, I love getting compliments from my family. I don't know why. But for the longest time I've always wanted acceptance and appreciation from them. Now, it's not so important for me to get it from them. But when I do, it feels great!!! 

So Saturdays class was fun. Then came the evening. What a great night! We had planned to have a hair cutting party for my mom. We had invited a few friends to help cut hair and put pink extensions in. I made it into a fundraiser and charged everyone $5 an extension. Then whoever wanted to shave their head could. We had a ton of people show up! It was amazing to see all those people there to help support my mom! We raised over $800 that night! It was awesome!!! One gal told her friends and family that she too would be shaving her head in honor of mom and made $350 in donations! Wow!!! We had quite a few shave their heads. My mom, sister Jamie, brother Josh, my dad, and our friend Monnie who raised over $350. I wanted to shave mine too but the hubby would not have liked it. So I pulled a 90's look and just shaved the back of my head. Like 3 inches off my neck. You can't even see it unless I pull my hair up. It was an eventful day. Brought tears to my eyes just thinking about. It was a great day, one I will never forget. 

Love Always, 

Nini V. 

Working girl

Here I am again 7:00 AM getting ready to head to work. I'm liking the work thing again. Actually, I'm loving it! I love being around people, always have. I love that I get to help people all the time. It makes my day when people say "Your a life saver!" or "Your an angel." It really makes me feel good. 

However, with every pro there is a con. As much as I love people, they can also be annoying. And I'm not just talking about the phone calls. In a workplace you kinda have to be dealing with those around you. Unfortunately it's not that easy. I always knew I had guy friends for a reason back in high school. Girls can be mean!!! I'm trying my hardest to just let it roll off my back. It's hard though. It's frustrating when I feel people are making fun of not only me but the other newbies sitting around me too. It's frustrating that we feel like we can't talk about how life's going when we're slow. Apparently chatting is not acceptable by some. But it's only one way. Others can do it, just not us. Honestly, does it really matter? I feel like I'm in high school all over again! Girls can be mean!!! Sometimes I just want to say "Grow up!!! Put your big girl panties on and just do your job!" Right? Isn't that how it's supposed to go? You worry about what you need to do, it'll the others aren't doing the right thing then they will suffer the consequences. At least that's how I think it's supposed to go. Well I guess we'll have to wait and see. Got to head to work now. I hope you all are loving life and loving what you do. 

Love always

Nini V

Once again on a Saturday morning.

Here I am again at 5:59 AM on a Saturday morning wide awake, showered and dressed with makeup on. Well, mascara is makeup but I wouldn't say I'm all makeup'd out! Anyway, here I am wide awake but this time I'm already at work. 6:05 clock in time comes awfully early! So far I'm loving my job. It does however have its weaknesses. Last night I got off work at 9. I get home to everyone gone. Apparently the kids and Jason decided to go get a movie. So I'm laying in bed already (early morning shift remember?) and they all get home and start enjoying the movie together. :( Miss my family time that's for sure. But I feel that this is the right place for me I be in order to help my family now. I've never seen Jason so relaxed now. He's definitely less stressed then what he used to be. Which honestly isn't that hard. Lol I've got to go now. Thanks for keeping tabs on me. Loving what I do! 

Love always and forever, 

Nini V. 

I passed!

So, it's now early Saturday morning and I'm wide awake at 5:46 in the morning. Having an early morning job can really suck sometimes. ☺️ 

I had a much better week though at work. In fact, yesterday we took our final test and everyone in my class passed! I guess that doesn't happen often. But we are all so excited we did it. So later that afternoon we took our very first phone calls. It was fun but very hectic! My partner and I both took 3 phone calls each. It was a very eventful day. 

My first and my last calls were pretty easy. One of them even called me Sweety. However, my second phone call was a mess!!! It was crazy. First it was a furniture call then it wasn't. Which means two separate ways to handle. Ugh! I had my trainer standing right next to me the whole time. We worked it out though and everything turned out fine. Thank goodness! 

So this week at work was a great learning experience. Now, on to family. 

We found out this week that my mom has two more lumps in her chest area. One by her armpit and one by her neck. Which means two things. One, she could have swollen lymphnodes or two, her cancer is spreading. :( Obviously we are hoping for the first one but remember, she does have grade 3 cancer which means it could spread aggressively. Well, mom went and saw a Dr. Brady and both her and Jamie loved him. He took care of my mom better then the first oncologist she saw. He also got things moving for her. So on Thursday (Halloween) mom had her port put in. (Which pretty much means there's a device inside her skin to make the chemo reach her more effectively.) So things are moving fast. I'm not sure if I'm happy about this or not. It's all to scary to think about so I try not to. 

Earlier in my posts I mentioned my cousin/brother and I forgot to tell you what that meant. Remember I told you my mom was adopted? Well, she came in contact with her biological family when I was really young. One of her cousins is very wealthy and is actually co-owner of the Pilot Pen company. So, when they had their son they wanted the best upbringing for him. So they sent him to live with us in the United States. So growing up he was my brother. But he didn't like it here. With my parents more likely. So when he was old enough he moved out on his own, changed his last name back to his parents and lived about 10 hours away. But we still stay in contact with him. He too had a hard time forgiving my mother. But now he is such a strong person. He inspires me to be a better person. 

So, that pretty much sums it up for now. I think I'll go watch some tv until I fall asleep again. Thanks everyone for reading. I love how writing...typing this all is such a relief for me! It feels great. 

Love always and forever. 

Nini V. 

And more about me

So now you know my family. Like I said, my upbringing wasn't the greatest. But looking back now I learned a lot of things that pertain to living. I learned that I never wanted to hit my children out of anger. I learned to not have too many kids that I couldn't handle. I learned to say I love you to my family every day. I learned that making mistakes is a good way to learn, whether you make them yourself or learn from someone else making them. I learned that no matter where I am or what I'm doing, I will always be loved. That is a whole other blog though. Religion.

So, here I am, about to turn 35 in a few weeks. And I've experienced a lot. Once I was married I took on a job only to find out that we were expecting. I was tired of my job and how it was a family business which means the family walked all over us and we were treated like nothing. So, I walked away. However, Jason and I just bought our first house that very same week. I needed another job and fast! I got one. Working at a collection agency. What a great experience! I learned that I will NEVER write a check for funds I don't have. Holy cow! That can get expensive! Anyway, when DJ was born I quit my job and stayed home. Boy, was that hard for me. Like I said, I'm not one to just sit around. I had a very hard time. I loved my son, loved spending time with him but felt so useless! I literally felt like a milk supply and a maid. Not that I cleaned much (I've never liked cleaning and it's a running joke with our family how I clean the least of all of us). So ups and downs came with Jason and I but we were able to pull through it. (Not to mention the most important part of lack of sleep due to our baby who hardly ever slept!)

So I started trying new things. Grandma Van tried to teach me how to knit. Not to interested. I taught myself how to cross-stitch. Still have the DJ that I started when he was a baby that is still not finished! So, I started doing things with friends that had kids also. Although, most people my age were not having kids. So the majority of the people I hung out with were older. That was tough for me.

Once Karlee was born I was feeling a bit better about myself. Going from one kid to two was very easy for me. Karlee and DJ got a long very well. I felt I can handle things. I started doing extra things that was fun for me. I started doing a murder mystery play when Karlee was 8 months old. I learned how to sew and loved it!!! I started sewing the kids' pajamas all the time! I even sewed Karlee's Halloween costume when she was two! Boo from Monster's Inc. I love sewing.

When Ashlee came DJ was in kindergarten. In fact, she was born on his second day of school. It was a great transition into my kids starting school. I never really had time to think about the fact that my son was starting school! So, I helped out in his class, had Karlee in gymnastics and volunteered for the March of Dimes. Things were good! I volunteered as much as I could for anything and everything. They also started a local group of the MOMS Club where I cherished going to events. I later became president of the club and has also been secretary and Vice President several times. I loved working with other people, helping them out and letting them know there are other people just like them going through the exact same things. It was great.

Some hard things for me though was to learn that not everyone liked people like me and not everyone would drop everything to help those around them. It was hard for me to connect to people because I kind of expected them to treat me the way I treated them. It's been a very hard lesson for me to learn. I still have some times where I wish I had a close friend that really knew me and my heart. I mean a girl friend. I always have Jason to talk to but it's not the same as a female to share these crazy emotions with. :p

Anyway, so that's pretty much me. I am an emotional basket case sometimes but can be there for you in a drop of a hat if you need me. I hope you all have enjoyed yourselves.

Love always and forever,
Nini V.