What do I call this one?

Here I am, laying here wide awake after going to bed early to work at 5:30 the next morning. It is now almost 2:00 AM. I never sleep good anymore. Although, I have to put a little of the blame on my husband though. He was watching tv when I startled in my sleep and woke up. So, it was a bit hard hearing shooting noises in the background while trying to go back to sleep. But I have to give him props for trying to get me back to sleep by rubbing my back. Until he fell asleep. ☺️ Love you hunny!!! 

Well, Happy New Year everyone! We rang in the new year last night with the family minus DJ who is visiting his uncle in Spokane. We were watching the ball drop in time square but Ashlee and I were getting tired. So we headed to my bed where I pretty much fell asleep but Ashlee stayed up just enough to say happy new year. She's pretty cute. Even at 9 she's still my baby. She'll come in my room and snuggle up to me still. One of my favorite things to do. DJ and Karlee still do it too but not as much as Ashlee does. 

Anyway, back to New Years. So we all pretty much slept in this morning. Till around 10:30. Then we hung around the house watching movies and playing a couple rounds of dominoes. Then Jason took the girls and I to dinner at red robin. Pretty relaxing (and boring) new year. 

I got to talk to DJ today on FaceTime and I told him I was sad cuz I haven't seen him all year!  I know, it's lame. 

There's still a lot going through my head right now. It's still crazy that I'm a working mother. It's hard for me to adjust to that. My head still wants to have the freedom of relaxing when I need to but my eyes are telling my brain different. I've been getting headaches at work and I think it's because I'm staring at the screen all day. I'm still super tired at the end of my shift too. We were told we'd be laid off around the 19 this month so I'm ready to welcome it with open arms. Although, the extra income has been pretty nice! Jason really wants me to stay. If that's the case we could pay off the bills sooner which would be nice, but if I can't snap out of this funk it might not be worth it. I guess we'll see. I would start working part time hours though which I think would be a lot easier to get used to. I really was expecting to work part tr for just a little bit before the holidays started. I also think I would have adjusted way easier if I had started at part time hours. Jumping into 40 hours a week after 14 1/2 years of no work at all us hard! Definitely could have used a gradually adding hours over time schedule! I literally feel like my mind doesn't have time to stop and think! I hardly ever touch the house anymore (not that I did much when I wasn't working!) it's a good thing Jason's mom lives with us because we actually have clean dishes and clothes! 

Well, I'm starting to fall asleep again so I think I'm gonna go now. Thanks for reading! 

Love always and forever, 

Nini V.