I'm back! Didn't get to finish yesterday but I'm here now. :) So, Let's start where we left off. Jason has worked at his job for a long time now. It's been good to us. When we were first married he was part time there. When we found out we were expecting DJ he ended up getting full time. Perfect! Then when Karlee was born he ended up becoming a licensed optician! Then when Ashlee was born he became the Optical Manager. Life was good for us! He has since stayed manager and we are doing great with it.
So fast forward a few years and here we are. So, the start of this school year was going great. I applied for a substitute position at the schools as a parapro but nothing ever came out of it. So I applied a couple other places too. But this place has worked so well with Jason why not try out the call center right? I mean, what else could be right up my alley! Computers and talking on the phone! Perfect!!! So I applied and got the job a few weeks later. It was fun at first because I knew quite a bit of people there. I mean, they had to search for someone to interview me because most of them knew me! It was funny.
So I get hired and I go to orientation on a Wednesday. Then on Thursday I find out that my mom has stage two breast cancer and could spread quite aggressively. Wow! I start training on Monday and my mom has cancer. Huh. What a great way to start a job right? Well, here I am in my second week of training and all I want to do is crawl up into a ball and just start crying.
I thought about all that has happened and I'm honestly surprised I'm not in an asylum right now! I think I'm overwhelmed by all that I'm learning at work. It's quite a lot of information that we will have to hold onto in order to be a good customer service agent.
But it's not only that. Jason has worked for this place for a long time. He wants to make sure that I can hold up to the Vandy name! Not that I'm a bad worker or slack off often. But I did ask if I could take an extended lunch during training to go to my moms Oncology appt. Is that ok? Or what about asking for next Saturday off since I have a class that we paid $185 for me to take it! Is it going to make him look bad if I ask? Will it look bad on my "seasonal" position? I just don't know what to do!!!
Not to mention that I haven't worked in over 14 years. I thought I was a pretty quick learner. I thought I was a hard worker, stayed on task, worked well with others, made good quality judgments to help better the company I work for. Well, I thought I was. This stuff is very tedious stuff and it's a lot to remember. Am I asking the wrong questions during training? Am I not asking enough? Do I really understand how this works or am I just nodding my head so I don't look like a fool and tell them no? I don't know!!!
This is all going through my head at the same time. My mom's cancer, could I have cancer, am I making a good impression with my training leaders, am I learning the new programs and adjusting to them well, will I be able to stay on once the season is over? Am I a good enough employee that they even want me to stay?
I just don't know how to feel right now. Should I be happy that I got a job in the first place? Should I be happy that my mom caught her cancer early enough that there is time to fix it? Should I be happy that my husband and kids still love me even though I'm coming home from work at 4:45 and am in bed by 6 because I'm just not used to these long hours? I don't even know what to think anymore.
Geesh!!! I'm all over the map with these sensitive emotions!!! Ok, let's get back to normal here! Anytime now! Really, anytime. Any......time????
Thanks for reading my crazy emotions!
Next time I write, eh, type, I'll talk more about me and who I am and what I do.
Love always and forever,
Nini V.
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