Parenting 9-7-21

FROM 9-7-21

Parenting is HARD. There are tons of books out there from scholarly folks who know what they're talking about, for you to read, but not one of them is exactly right. Want to know why? Because each child is different. What works for one child won't work for another. Heavenly Father has made each of us different, and each one of us handles things differently. Take Adam and Eve's own children. They raised their children the same way right? For the most part? Well, then, why would one of them end up murdering one of their own flesh and blood? Even in the Spirit World there were issues. Even our loving Heavenly Father had trouble with His own son. Lucifer made it difficult on Heavenly Father, so why would we ever think that parenting would be all rainbows and sprinkles for us? 

We are given many examples of faithful parents in the scriptures. Oh how I wanted to be like the stripling warrior's mothers! But I remind myself that just because they speak of the bold stripling warriors at the time, it doesn't mean they never disobeyed their parents ever, either. I'm sure they had their moments too, just as every mother there ever was and will be. I will take President Joseph Smith's counsel when he said, "I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves." The chapter then goes on and says "This principle can be applied to parenting, with the recognition that the teaching must be adjusted to the developmental readiness of the child, and that teaching sometimes takes much time, even years, to fully sink in with the young (as well as the old) (Nelson, David A. chapter 11, pg. 126)."

In chapter 12 it states "Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children (Erickson, Jenet J. pg. 128)." There are many times where I second guess myself in my parenting ways. I guess this is one of the reasons why we have an equal partnership in our marriage because when our kids were younger, I was the one cleaning them up, sending them to school, getting them ready for this, and taking them to that. Now that they are older, my husband has nice talks with them, where as I am not so great at that. However, when they would stumble and fall my husband would freeze and not know what to do, but I took the reins and grabbed hold of the kid and lifted them up as best as I could do. Where one of us is weak, the other is strong. Where one of us is scared, the other one steps up. I might not be the best mom to talk to but by golly if they need to be somewhere at a certain time, as well as the other sibling only five minutes later to be somewhere else, here comes mom to the rescue. We all have our own personal traits we need to work on. Does that make me a bad mom? Or my husband a bad dad? Not at all. Even though we have our faults, we also have our strengths. 

Elder Richard G. Scott says, "Satan has unleashed a seductive campaign to undermine the sanctity of womanhood, to deceive the daughters of God and divert them from their divine destiny. He well knows women are the compassionate, self-sacrificing, loving power that binds together the human family. . . . He has convinced many of the lie that they are third-class citizens in the kingdom of God. That falsehood has led some to trade their divinely given femininity for male coarseness (chapter 12, pg. 131)." I don't even know how to follow up with that. Wow. Satan is ever powerful. But so is Heavenly Father, and according to the President Monson, "One cannot remember mother and forget God. Why? Because these two sacred persons, God and mother, partners in creation, in love, in sacrifice, in service, are as one (pg. 131)."  

Now, mothers can not be where they are without the help of fathers. Jenet J. Erickson says, "...husbands and fathers play a crucial roll in enabling mothers to be nurtured and strengthened (pg.135)."  Fathers are to preside over the family. They are "...to provide love, teach, and direct (President Ezra Taft Benson, chapter 13, pg. 141)." The Proclamation states that the father is supposed to partner with those to help nurture and teach his children. He is to partner with "...the child's mother," and to partner with "...other's in the child's life (pg 143)." The book mentions a few things for fathers to do, in order to help raise their children while supporting the mother. To be present, to provide, and to protect must be important to fathers when rearing their children in a righteous way.