How is my learning affecting who I Become?

It has been quite some time since I've last posted. Life has been great! I'm very excited to say that I have started college courses this year. Let's back up a bit.

When my seasonal job ended in January last year I took the time to relish what I had before I worked. I enjoyed being with the kids and going to their events. It was great. We enjoyed the summer together, went on a few vacations and just enjoyed each other's company. Once they started school again I went looking for part time jobs. I found a great job at the school district where I was working as a sub. I worked as a parapro and as a child nutrition (CN) server. In October of last year I was asked to take a long term sub position as a CN server. I enjoyed the hours so I said sure. I go to work at 8:15 get done at 9:15 then start again at 10:30-1 every day. I was still able to be home when the kids got home from school. It was perfect. Well, a week later I had a visit from one of the CN managers. She flat out said, if I want this job it's mine. So with much thought and conversation with my husband, we decided yes, it was just what we needed. So I must have done a good enough job because I was hired back this year. It's great.

Like I said earlier I started college courses this year. I've been so excited to start I can hardly contain myself. Since I graduated high school in June then married in July I didn't really think about college. But I've always known I've wanted to go. BYU-I has this amazing opportunity called Pathway for LDS members to start a college. The Pathway program allows us to take 15 credits for the year at an affordable rate. So with lots of pondering and praying my husband and I decided that now is the time that I can return to school. So here I am! Writing one of my assignments in my blog! How great is that!

So we were asked to write about what we learned this week. I have to say that one thing that stuck out to me was the murmuring and the quotes that I learned along with it. Here are some examples of what I have read, 1 Nephi 2:11&12 "for behold they did murmur, and thus Laman and Lemuel, being the eldest, did murmur against their father...and they did murmur because they knew not..." 3:5 "And now, behold thy brothers murmur, saying it is a hard thing..." 3:31 "...Laman and Lemuel again began to murmur..."4:4 "...they continued to murmur..." Six times in the first four chapters! You hear how these brothers complained six different times! In a quote from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland he says "No misfortune is so bad that whining about it won't make it worse." This is so true! What is the purpose of whining (or murmuring)? What good does it do for us? If we do something that is not good, or doesn't help anyone then why do it? He then quoted Orson F. Whitney, "The spirit of the gospel is optimistic, it trusts in God and looks on the bright side of things. The opposite or pessimistic spirit drags men down and away from God. looks on the dark side, murmurs, complains and is slow to obedience." What better way to feel of the spirit then to be optimistic and look on the brighter side of things? You'll notice that some of these scriptures have other words to them. I added them on purpose. You'll see that it says something like "it is a hard thing," "because they knew not." Life isn't easy all the time. We may not know all the answers. But staying firm with the faith will keep us on the straight and narrow path towards our goal. Living with Heavenly Father again. I know I will always try to see the good in others, see the brighter side, and try my hardest to keep His spirit with me always.

I am so thankful for the gospel in my life and the knowledge that Heavenly Father is always there for me. And loves me for the person that I am.

With love,
Nini V.

Sitting at home...again

Well, I'm back to being a stay at home mom again. Yay! I was kind of excited to be laid off. That work stuff is hard to do! (Lol) :) It is now Wednesday and my last day of work was last Friday. It's been fun being at home. Monday was a holiday so the kids had no school. 

Tuesday was Karlee's first day at her new school. (We noticed her struggling ever since she went to middle school so we had her transferred. She really wanted online but we don't think that would have been best for her.) So as a SAHM mom again I was able to take her to her new school, get a tour of it and meet some teachers. When the counselor told me I could leave her there until they have her schedule printed out, I asked Karlee if she wanted me to go or not. We had the tour of the school but not her classes yet. It made me so happy that she asked me to go around with her to her classes before she went to the next class. I was so happy that I could do it with her! 

Then that night we had one of Jason's co workers come over for his taxes. (Jason does some taxes too) so it's about 9:30-10:00 and the guys were done. Then Jason's buddy comes back in and states, my truck was stolen out of your driveway! In all our 15+ years living here we've never had anything stolen here. Wow! So, of course, Ashlee hears him say that and literally, there went the whole night. 

Let me go back a bit. Back in the summer Ashlee's iPod went missing. We were so upset with her for losing it. So fast forward to two weeks ago. DJ and his cousin were playing a basketball game at the church. I guess it was all of the wards playing against each other. (We have boundaries in our city that puts us in a certain "ward" for our church that we go to.) So Jason was the only adult with our boys there and later that day he got a phone call asking if he knew of anyone who might have taken an iPod. Turns out they did the whole find my iPod thing and found it at my parents house where my nephew lives. In the long run, he stole it and our friends got it back. But it was cleared out and ready to sell. :( We were so disappointed. However, Jason had a feeling that maybe that's what happened to Ashlee's iPod. When I confronted him in front of my parents and my brother, and explained to him how unfair it's been for Ashlee to get in trouble for losing it if she really didn't, he finally admitted to taking it. At nine years old learning that your older male cousin had broken your trust and stole from you is a very hard lesson to learn! 

So last night when she found out his truck was stolen from our driveway she took it really hard. She came and laid with me, every noise she heard would make her nervous, every sound that was made had her asking what was that. I had her almost asleep 3-4 times when she heard something and wake up again. Once she told me she'd had a rough life. I asked her what she meant and she said, "With all the stealing." What could I say to that? She then went on and said we need to move. I kinda smiled because I've always wanted to move! Lol But I asked her why and she said because of bad people. I asked her where she wanted to move to and she said a new city because there's too much bad people here. I couldn't agree with her more. But I couldn't tell her that! I simply told her unfortunately, there's bad people everywhere. (Just way more here in Yakima! Lol) 

She finally went to sleep around 1:30-2:00. Jason took the older two to school and let me and Ashlee sleep in. Of course, Ashlee slept in our room so I couldn't sleep that well. After a night like last night we wanted her to catch up on her sleep. Once she woke up I let her shower with me, then we both got dressed and then headed to her school. Luckily her counselor agreed to meet with us so Ashlee was able to talk with her. I could tell it really did bother her but at school she was trying to play it off. She kept looking at me and I kept telling her to tell her counselor! Not me! I think the counselor got the point and said maybe we should talk again later this week to see how your doing. So Ashlee and I finished her lunch in Mr. Schultz's room. (All of the kids' 1st grade teacher, whom we all loved! He rocks!) Then I walked Ashlee back to her room and explained a little bit to her teacher so she could keep up with the story. I think Ashlee did ok. 

Last week (or two) when she found out her cousin took her iPod, she came home and had a rough day. When grandma grabbed her and cuddled her up and asked her what's wrong she mentioned her cousin stealing from her. I think she's trying so hard to be grown up about it but it's really bothering her and she just doesn't know how to deal with it. Poor girl. It is a hard lesson to learn at nine years old. That's for sure! 

So now, I'm sitting at home...again. Watching Ashlee fall gently asleep. With her warm glass of "chocolate" milk (she won't drink regular milk) all gone, her melatonin taken and her journal written in she's ready for a goods night rest. I just hope it works! 

So, I'm gonna hopefully fall fast asleep too, since I too took a melatonin! Goodnight everyone! 

Love Always and Forever, 

Nini V. 

P.S. My mom had her 4th chemo treatment today! It's her last three week chemo treatments. In another three weeks she'll go to once a week treatments which won't be so hard on her. This one is supposed to be her hardest. :( Glad I'm able to watch out for her now. 

What do I call this one?

Here I am, laying here wide awake after going to bed early to work at 5:30 the next morning. It is now almost 2:00 AM. I never sleep good anymore. Although, I have to put a little of the blame on my husband though. He was watching tv when I startled in my sleep and woke up. So, it was a bit hard hearing shooting noises in the background while trying to go back to sleep. But I have to give him props for trying to get me back to sleep by rubbing my back. Until he fell asleep. ☺️ Love you hunny!!! 

Well, Happy New Year everyone! We rang in the new year last night with the family minus DJ who is visiting his uncle in Spokane. We were watching the ball drop in time square but Ashlee and I were getting tired. So we headed to my bed where I pretty much fell asleep but Ashlee stayed up just enough to say happy new year. She's pretty cute. Even at 9 she's still my baby. She'll come in my room and snuggle up to me still. One of my favorite things to do. DJ and Karlee still do it too but not as much as Ashlee does. 

Anyway, back to New Years. So we all pretty much slept in this morning. Till around 10:30. Then we hung around the house watching movies and playing a couple rounds of dominoes. Then Jason took the girls and I to dinner at red robin. Pretty relaxing (and boring) new year. 

I got to talk to DJ today on FaceTime and I told him I was sad cuz I haven't seen him all year!  I know, it's lame. 

There's still a lot going through my head right now. It's still crazy that I'm a working mother. It's hard for me to adjust to that. My head still wants to have the freedom of relaxing when I need to but my eyes are telling my brain different. I've been getting headaches at work and I think it's because I'm staring at the screen all day. I'm still super tired at the end of my shift too. We were told we'd be laid off around the 19 this month so I'm ready to welcome it with open arms. Although, the extra income has been pretty nice! Jason really wants me to stay. If that's the case we could pay off the bills sooner which would be nice, but if I can't snap out of this funk it might not be worth it. I guess we'll see. I would start working part time hours though which I think would be a lot easier to get used to. I really was expecting to work part tr for just a little bit before the holidays started. I also think I would have adjusted way easier if I had started at part time hours. Jumping into 40 hours a week after 14 1/2 years of no work at all us hard! Definitely could have used a gradually adding hours over time schedule! I literally feel like my mind doesn't have time to stop and think! I hardly ever touch the house anymore (not that I did much when I wasn't working!) it's a good thing Jason's mom lives with us because we actually have clean dishes and clothes! 

Well, I'm starting to fall asleep again so I think I'm gonna go now. Thanks for reading! 

Love always and forever, 

Nini V. 

Where did the time go?

I've been so busy I didn't even realize November is gone and December is more then halfway over! Wow! I can't believe what work does to you! It's been crazy how fast the days go by. Work has been pretty good. I had the worst call I've ever had yesterday. It was about 40 mins long and during the call my boss came over and gave me the thumbs up sign telling me I'm handling it well. I've never gotten so angry over a phone call before. I was able to take a little personal time so I could calm down when it was over. I could feel my heart racing and the blood pumping so fast! I ended up calling Jason and just talking to him about the kids so I could calm down. It worked. It's just funny how life works sometimes. Earlier that day I had one of my co workers ask me a personal question. He asked me if I was truly happy. It caught me off guard. I knew the answer right away but didn't know my co worker enough to know how much I wanted to say. We've had discussions before about his faith (the guy had faith tattooed to his neck and three Japanese symbols on his arm meaning faith, hope, pray) so I knew he was already spiritual. I decided to go forward with it. I looked him in the eye and told him. "Honestly, yes I am. Because I know my Heavenly Father loves me for who I am and looks past my faults and loves me anyway. He forgave me for the things I have done in the past. He is constantly showering me with beautiful blessings. He is the reason why I am the person I am today and I couldn't be more thankful for His love." I think I caught him off guard because all he said was "Wow!" :) He then said "Your lucky. I ask that to people often and I rarely get a yes." I them asked him if he was happy and he said "For the most part, yes I am. But I feel like there's something more for me to do. I feel like there's something..." "Missing?" I said. "Yes!" I knew exactly what he was talking about. I know what he is missing. And he's right, I am very lucky to have my faith and know who I am and know that I am loved. I love my Heavenly Father so much for bringing me to this beautiful place and giving me so many blessings. I'm so thankful for the life I have. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. 

Love Always & Forever,

Nini V. 

I cried.

Yesterday at church we had what we call fast and testimony meeting. It's when we fast for two meals that day and then we have the opportunity to bear our testimony in front of the congregation. We have it once a month. I usually try to stop myself from going up there every time. Yesterday, I couldn't. I had listened to others bear their testimony and I was crying before I even went up there. It was a great feeling knowing that my Heavenly Father has not only helped me with my trials but is helping others too. I was so thankful for the life my Heavenly Father has given me that I had to share. Even with all these trials we've come to these past months I am so thankful for the experiences that will only make me stronger. I went up to the pulpit and started to talk about everything going on. And I lost it. I cried. And I cried hard. I don't normally cry that hard when I get in front of people. I couldn't help it. I tried to hold back the tears as best I could. But I had to step away from the mic just so I could sob. But it was good tears. It was tears of thankfulness. Because I know that my Heavenly Father is by my side holding my hand through all of it. I am thankful for the love He shows me. He has given me my family to love. I am thankful for my life and my family and friends that I have. I love my life. 

Love Always and Forever, 

Nini V. 

What a day!!! :)

Saturday was such a great day! We first started off with a special Zumba class only instructors could take. If was to better ourselves as an instructor. We learned a lot of techniques that would help us. If was fun and engaging. I learned a lot. And I had the biggest compliment ever! For those of you that know my family, Jamie is my oldest sister and has always been a great role model for me. Well, she's the reason my whole family is into Zumba. She became an instructor and taught my mom, dad, youngest brother and my other sister. Well, when mom and dad moved back to Yakima it was fun to go to Zumba classes together. Nani (my other sister) had moved back also. My mom and I went to one of Jamie's friends studio up in the Seattle area. On the way back home I told mom we should open up our own studio! We all have dance in our background. Mom, Nani and I could all be instructors. Then we wanted to add our brothers wife in too, Becky. There were no Zumba only studios in town. You had to go to a gym and pay gym fees if you wanted to go. Blah! So, here were the four of us, ready to start a Zumba studio! It has now been 3 yrs since we opened. And we love it! However, it definitely came with ups and downs. I backed away from the business perspective and became just an instructor. Nani has since moved to North Dakota. So it is now mom and Becky. But now Becky is pretty much running it due to moms cancer. Since I got a full time job I'm not able to help as much as I'd like. 

Anyway, back to my story. I received the biggest compliment ever! My sister Jamie had watched me up on stage and observed me as an instructor. She said I am a good instructor and I do a really good job up there! Which made me feel really good. A few weeks ago she came up while mom and I were teaching. She pointed out that moms knees were hurting because she was leaning to far forward. I then asked her if she had any constructive criticism for me. She said she had to think about it. Then she told me this in class and I just beamed. I was so happy that Jamie thinks I'm a good instructor. 

So, if you can't tell, I love getting compliments from my family. I don't know why. But for the longest time I've always wanted acceptance and appreciation from them. Now, it's not so important for me to get it from them. But when I do, it feels great!!! 

So Saturdays class was fun. Then came the evening. What a great night! We had planned to have a hair cutting party for my mom. We had invited a few friends to help cut hair and put pink extensions in. I made it into a fundraiser and charged everyone $5 an extension. Then whoever wanted to shave their head could. We had a ton of people show up! It was amazing to see all those people there to help support my mom! We raised over $800 that night! It was awesome!!! One gal told her friends and family that she too would be shaving her head in honor of mom and made $350 in donations! Wow!!! We had quite a few shave their heads. My mom, sister Jamie, brother Josh, my dad, and our friend Monnie who raised over $350. I wanted to shave mine too but the hubby would not have liked it. So I pulled a 90's look and just shaved the back of my head. Like 3 inches off my neck. You can't even see it unless I pull my hair up. It was an eventful day. Brought tears to my eyes just thinking about. It was a great day, one I will never forget. 

Love Always, 

Nini V. 

Working girl

Here I am again 7:00 AM getting ready to head to work. I'm liking the work thing again. Actually, I'm loving it! I love being around people, always have. I love that I get to help people all the time. It makes my day when people say "Your a life saver!" or "Your an angel." It really makes me feel good. 

However, with every pro there is a con. As much as I love people, they can also be annoying. And I'm not just talking about the phone calls. In a workplace you kinda have to be dealing with those around you. Unfortunately it's not that easy. I always knew I had guy friends for a reason back in high school. Girls can be mean!!! I'm trying my hardest to just let it roll off my back. It's hard though. It's frustrating when I feel people are making fun of not only me but the other newbies sitting around me too. It's frustrating that we feel like we can't talk about how life's going when we're slow. Apparently chatting is not acceptable by some. But it's only one way. Others can do it, just not us. Honestly, does it really matter? I feel like I'm in high school all over again! Girls can be mean!!! Sometimes I just want to say "Grow up!!! Put your big girl panties on and just do your job!" Right? Isn't that how it's supposed to go? You worry about what you need to do, it'll the others aren't doing the right thing then they will suffer the consequences. At least that's how I think it's supposed to go. Well I guess we'll have to wait and see. Got to head to work now. I hope you all are loving life and loving what you do. 

Love always

Nini V